Why You Don't Have A Girlfriend

If you don't have a girlfriend it is easy to find fault with anybody else but yourself. It's easy to say that it's bad luck, all the girls you meet are too old, too young, too slutty or already taken.

But maybe the issue lies within. There is a famous saying that the only person you can change is yourself.

If you aren't finding the results you want on the dating scene then you must look at yourself and your own habits and change those.

You will surprised to find that when you change your own thoughts and behavior, what you see and get "out there" in the world changes also.

While this can be hard to own up to your own failings, it is also incredibly liberating because you know that the power to change is in your hands.

These are some of the likely reasons that you don't have a girlfriend. Identify where your issues lie and then take action to remedy the problem.

Problem: You Are Lazy

Sitting at home and being inactive on the dating scene is not going to get you a girlfriend. You need to be active and make things happen. Sure, you can't go and buy one from the store but you can't be totally passive in the process and expect a girlfriend to magically appear.

Solution: Become A Go Getter

Become social, get out more, meet new people. Start with the intention of widening your social circle and making new friends and acquaintances. Inevitably this will bring you into contact with more females - much better than sitting on the couch and waiting.

Problem: You Are Desperate and Needy

It is okay to have had a enough of the single life and have a strong desire to find a girlfriend. However it is not okay for that feeling to morph into becoming someone who is desperate and needy. This is one of the biggest turn offs for women and then can smell it a mile away.

Solution: Be Happy With The Status Quo

There is an inevitable tension in life between being happy with what we have and desiring something more. If we were always content and never strove for more then we would miss out on so much in life. However if we were never content and always looked for bigger, better and more, then we would never find peace, happiness and contentment. You have to strike a balance between being happy in your current circumstances but at the same time striving to improve your situation.

When applied to dating this means it's fine to want to be in a relationship. But you have to be happy with your situation as a single person first. A relationship builds on the contentment you have in life, it is not a panacea for a miserable single life. If you are miserable as a single, you will be miserable in a relationship.

So focus on being happy with your current situation and it will remove the desperation for a girlfriend. Incidentally this will make it more likely that you will find one.

Problem: You Are Boring

What is boring and what is interesting is completely subjective. What I'm referring to here is someone who has no interests and is generally rudderless in life. If you have nothing to talk about because you don't do anything or have no hobbies or interests then a women is not going to find you interesting to talk to.

Solution: Get A Life

Get out and about. Do things other than sit at home and watch TV. Develop some hobbies. Find like minded people. Then you will have something interesting to talk about.

Problem: You Have No Direction In Life

Women love a man with purpose. A man who has a passion in live and has something to live for. People like this are a breath of fresh air, particularly in the dating scene. For most men who have no purpose in life, finding a woman becomes the number one priority. This makes them suffocating when dating.

Men who have a higher purpose don't look to a women to satisfy their every need in life. This takes the pressure of a woman but it also intrigues her and makes this type of man a challenge.

If you have no purpose or direction in life not only are you less interesting, less challenging and more like to overblow the importance of a relationship but you are a dime a dozen and have no way of standing out.

Solution: Get Some Direction

You can't just make this up. You have to actually feel it and believe it. But sit down an brainstorm and try and come up with a purpose in life. It doesn't have to be an altruistic notion of saving the planet, the children or the whales. It can be totally selfish like making a million dollars or traveling to each continent.

What you need, however, is some direction, a purpose and some goals. These aren't just important for dating, these are important for life.

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