The world you live in is not conducive to producing men. Instead it emasculates them. Our growth from boy to man is stunted and dragged out. What we end up with is grown men who act and think like teenagers.
Every other animal becomes an adult when it is physically mature. At that stage it can provide for itself and for others. In tribal societies this is no different. At physically maturity a boy is capable of providing for himself and he becomes a man.
But not for us. We become physically mature in the early teens. But our society has pushed back adulthood a good few years. Biologically we want and need to be adults. But we are forced to stay tethered to our parents, our wings clipped.
This is why teenagers are so prone to depression or "going off the rails." They need to be given freedom and independence. But instead when they go searching for that freedom people will restrict them. Instinctively they know something is wrong but they can't quite put their finger on it.
Society Makes It Hard To Move From Boy To Man
Even when the legal shackles come off and you technically become an adult you still can't take your place as a fully fledged adult.
If you are going to college or still live at home you are tied to your parents.
If you can't be self sufficient then you are still are a child to some degree.
The reason I get so worked up about this is because it is out of our control. The law emasculates you by keeping you as a child until a certain age despite what your body and emotions say.
And then the economy emasculates you and keeps you as a child long after you reach maturity by denying you the ability to make a decent living. It's tough to leave high school and go and make a decent living straight away. It was possible in the past, but it's a lot harder now. It takes time to genuinely become self sufficient.
The longer you stay in this in between transitionary phase the harder it is to mentally move past it. You get used to being an adult physically while still being dependent on others. That's why so many people in their twenties have real trouble growing up. They can't quite break the shackles.
Manliness Is Not In Fashion In This Society
All men have a little bit of a feminine side. I have no problem with that. Yin and yang. In one thing lies the seed of the other.
But somewhere along the line it became fashionable to play up the feminine side and bury the masculine side. The idea of the metrosexual and sensitive male.
There's nothing wrong with expressing emotion. You do not need to be super macho to be a man.
My problem is not so much that the feminine side is fashionable, it's that the masculine side is out of fashion. This emasculates us.
Take the simple mustache for example. It used to be a sign of manliness. Wearing your pubes on your face. Power. You meant business. But now a mustache is associated more with pedophilia. It has been emasculated.
We Don't Work Manly Jobs In This Society
Some people have manly jobs - soldiers and firefighters are two examples. But most jobs in this world are the equivalent of cutting your testicles off and shrinking them.
They are menial, degrading and suck your spirit away. You are a wild animal, you should be out running on the plains. But you are stuck in a cubicle or a classroom while your life passes you by and your body withers away.
Society emasculates men and you are a product of society. If you just float in the wind and go with the flow you will become emasculated. But you can swim against the tide. You can stand up and make life what you want it to be. You can become a man.
How To Stop Society Emasculating You
It's you vs. the world. And you can only do what you can. Like it or not you will always be influenced by the society around you. It's social conditioning and it's hard to escape from. But do your best and do what you can.
- Move out of home as soon as you can
- Stop relying on your parents
- Become self sufficient with your finances
- Learn how to cook, clean and tidy up
- Get a manly job
- Read widely on men's issues and men's personal development
- Assert yourself as the man in your relationship
There is no one stop solution. Developing conscious manhood is a process that takes time. It involves changing your thought patterns and attitudes as well as changing your behaviors. "The Confident Man" is a resource that can help you on this journey.
- Military Leadership Skills - Lessons In Manliness
- The Three Types Of Men
- Manly Behavior That Never Goes Out Of Fashion
- How To Become A Man In The Modern World
- What is An Alpha Male?