What To Do When Your Ex Comes Back

When your ex comes back seeking redemption and another shot or even begging for mercy, you have three distinct options.

  • You can give it a go and let her have a another chance.
  • You can blast her and take out all your rage in a revenge fueled rant.
  • You can talk and then walk away and wash your hands of her.

As someone who has tried the first option and got severely burned I strongly recommend the third option.

At college when I started dating a long time friend of mine who I had adored for sometime, I thought everything was going to be great. When she called things off after a few short weeks because she had "issues to resolve," I was devastated.

A couple of drunken hook ups in the next few weeks made things worse, but eventually we stopped seeing each other and I got over her.

Even though we had said we might get back together in the future when she felt ready, I never believed it would actually happen. This is just the stuff girls say to make you feel better. Plus it is never a good idea to hang around waiting for a girl because of "issues to resolve."

But about a year later my ex did come back. She wanted to get back together. And like an idiot I said yes.

Two weeks later she who had crawled back to me, dumped me again. "Issues still unresolved."

The first break up was bad but this was worse. The first one I got over pretty quickly, the second one had me stuck on her hook for months. My thought process was, "well if she came back once, she might come back again." I started to desperately want her back and I just couldn't deal with the hurt.

We were best friends and I couldn't deal with her not being in my life. I wanted to give it a shot with her and two relationships of merely a couple of weeks duration spread over a year was not going to do it justice.

Don't Let Her Bust Your Heart Again

As I've written about previously, your ex is your ex for a reason. 99% of the time you should never take her back.

If it didn't work the first time, it is not going to work the second time. You open yourself up to a world of potential hurt and the worst part about it is that you get stuck in a recurring cycle.

Every time you fall in love you risk getting hurt. The risk of hurt is not a reason to avoid a relationship. But this does not apply to an ex. By falling in love again with an ex you open yourself up to unresolved baggage and risk getting on a merry-go-round you can never escape.

An ex coming back is a sign. Not a sign you need to get back together, but a sign that you and her have unresolved baggage. Take the opportunity to close the door, wipe the baggage and start afresh in life.

That's why I advocate the third option above. You will do no one any favors by getting angry or vengeful, so talk it out get the closure you both need and then walk away.

A part of you may always love her, and that's okay, but avoid putting your hand in the fire again. When your ex comes back, learn my lesson and move on.

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