Unrequited love is a strong one sided love, where the feeling is not returned.
If you ever find your self in this situation during your life, which most of us will at some point, learning to get over unrequited love becomes crucial to moving on in life.
One sided love is something most young men will experience at some point during their lives.
This is very common in the teenage years, as you are finding out who you are and what you like and there is a wide array of eligible dating opportunities at high school.
Generally when this happens you will eventually get over it without too much fuss. However it really becomes a problem when your thoughts become obsessive and you feel like you cannot live without that person.
I've experienced this before and I've gotten over it. So here are my tips to get over unrequited love.
Accept That Love Is Not A Conscious Decision
You didn't sit down and logically decide that you wanted to fall madly in love with this woman. In the same way she didn't logically decide that she wanted to make your life a misery by not loving you back.
It doesn't make it easy to accept such a logical premise when you are hurting emotionally but ultimately this is where you need to get to.
See Their Flaws
With an unrequited love normally you only see them as perfect in every way. This delusion prolongs the inability to get over it.
Everybody has their flaws, including this women you are pining for. Take the time to notice them and perhaps you will stop longing for her with the same intensity.
You Don't Need Her To Be Happy
Unrequited love makes you think that you will never be happy without that person. Everything else in your life seems to go on hold while you wallow in despair.
But the reality is you don't need them to be happy. You and only you can determine your own happiness. You don't need any woman to make you happy and you definitely don't need one specific one.
Take responsibility for your own happiness and then you are much more likely to find satisfaction in a relationship because that person adds to your happiness, rather than being the source of it.
If you rely on a relationship to make yo happy it will only doom you, because as soon as the relationship hits turbulence you mental wellbeing will be going down.
Get Some Space From Her
Easier said than done, deepening on the nature of your acquaintance and how often you will otherwise bump into one another.
But where possible reduce contact with her. Unfriend her on Facebook, delete her number and give yourself some breathing space.
You are not in a monogamous relationship with this woman, so therefore nothing is stopping you from seeing other people.
It won't be easy, it may feel fake, but over time it will help you feel better.
Love Her Anyway
Don't get caught up in the erroneous belief that you have to give your whole heart to someone.
Because you feel like you have to give it all, as long as she has one part, you feel like you can never move on and give it to someone else.
But you can still love her, move forward and start a relationship with someone who reciprocates your love. She can be a special person in your heart, but you accept that it just wasn't meant to be.
Keep The Rest Of Your Life Moving Forward
It is easy for your whole world to get sucked into the trauma of one-sided life. It can become all consuming and this only makes it worse.
Keep up with friends and family, perform your duties at work or school with full energy and make sure you are exercising or playing sport. Don't lose sight of everything else, they are important too.
Take A Long Term View Of Things
While your heart may be crushed right now, it helps to look ahead a few years. What do you see in store for you? One day you will move on from this episode and look back at it and laugh. So keep dreaming about the future.
Another good strategy is to look back at the last few years and remember what was bothering you. Still bothering you now? Chances are there were several things weighing you down, that you thought you would never recover from. But as it always happens in life the bad times will pass.
- How To Stop
- How To
Take Responsibility For Your Life
- How To Be More Confident
- Causes Of Jealousy
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