You Need To Get Over Your Ex Girlfriend

Sometimes it's easy to get over your ex girlfriend and move on after a break-up.

It's easy when you ditch the girl, wipe her from your life and carry on. Even when she ends it you may come to realize quite soon that it's a good thing she is out of your life.

But sometimes it can be difficult to get over your girlfriend. Almost every man has had the experience of being dumped and not being able to let go.

This attachment and inability to get over your ex can last for years. It will affect every relationship that you enter and prevent you from being truly happy.

It is important to understand why this happens and why you need to get over her. Because you need to be able to move on, man up and have happy, fulfilling relationships. Badass young men are not still pining after girls that left them long ago. You need to get over your ex.

This article focuses on the importance of getting over your ex and why young men stay attached. Check out this article for more detailed information on how to get over your ex girlfriend.

Your Ex Is Your Ex For A Reason

get over your ex girlfriend

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You can get over your ex when you accept both at a logical level and an emotional level that she is not right for you.

It becomes a lot harder when you can logically accept that she is wrong but you still have emotional pangs.

The problem with the subconscious is that you can't just flick a switch and get over her.

You have to reprogram the subconscious thinking and that isn't always easy.

The key is to identify the difference between your logical and your emotional feelings. When you can't tell the difference you feel this sense of being torn in two directions. You don't quite know which way to go.

But when you break it up into logical and emotional you can understand it. You realize that your emotions are tying you to her while your rational mind says to let go.

Eventually you will acknowledge that the rational and logical decision is to let go. At some point after the break up you will see this clearly. Then the subconscious will begin to change.

You can see this in every break up. The first few days and weeks are clouded with emotion but as time passes a logical viewpoint takes over. The feeling of attachment to your ex remains when emotion still reigns over logic. Once logic takes over the emotional trauma subsides.

There is a reason why you and your ex are not together. Whatever it is it means that she cannot be right for you. Maybe you had grand dreams of the future where you had children and grew old together. Those dreams aren't shattered, it's just going to be with a different woman.

Try to ignore the emotional subconscious pangs you have towards her. These are confusing you and clouding your judgement.

Right Person Wrong Time

There are few things in life more annoying than meeting the right person at the wrong time. You think that if you only met her a few years later or a few years earlier things would work out. But for some reason the present just isn't doing it for the two of you.

Tough shit.

For a relationship to work you need the right person at the right time. You can't hang on to someone and hope that the right time will come along. You can't wait for them, hoping that in a few months or years the time will be right. This is a certain recipe for an unhealthy attachment. It will make you miserable and prevent you from finding happiness.

If she is the right woman but it's not the right time then let her go. You never know, she might come back to you. I have a friend who dated a girl at high school. They went their separate ways and he had a daughter with another woman. Ten years later he runs into her in Australia. Now they are married. Right person, wrong time. A decade down the track right person, right time.

But it wouldn't have happened if he had been pining for her for 10 years. So get over your ex and just see what happens.

True Love Or Unhealthy Attachment

A common reason that young men find it hard to get over women is because they mistake love and attachment. Attachment is created by the highs and lows of drama and fighting. It is characterized by insecurity, immaturity and jealousy but also high levels of passion. A kind of bi-polar relationship.

These attachments do not show the characteristics of genuine love. Things such as generosity, selflessness and gratitude just aren't there.

It's so easy to get sucked in by these relationships and harder to get over them. The high levels of passion and drama make the relationship seem so important. But this is importance that revolves around negative emotions. I've made this mistake before.

You need to identify the fact that you have an emotional subconscious attachment. High drama is exciting and addictive. It makes you feel like you are living in a soap opera. But it's not the basis for a healthy relationship.

Often this type of relationship will boom and bust spectacularly. The bust leaves you heartbroken because you thought you had true love.

After a while you will logically see that this attachment wasn't true love and was in fact a bad idea. Then you can move forward and you can properly get over your ex.

A Man And His Ex Cannot Be Friends

Sometimes in a break up you never want to talk to that girl again. So it's easy. You get over your ex with minimal effort. But often when young men still have feelings for their ex they fall into the trap of "being friends."

Still being friends is a giant cliche that you need to avoid. Men and women can't be friends if they have been together. If you keep hanging around with your ex a tiny little flame will still survive. It might even be quite a big flame. To get over your ex you need to cut the cord completely.

If you want to move on, get over your ex and develop a new relationship you need to cut off all contact from your ex. Delete her phone number, don't talk to her online and don't hang out with her in person.

You are badass and your life will go on just fine without her. You don't need her as a friend. Having her hanging around will put a handbrake on your happiness. All this "friends" business comes from men who are too weak to let go. They still want to hold onto their girl after they have gone. Let her go and get over it.

Once you get over your ex you can now go out find that special woman who genuinely deserves your love. That will make you happy.


When your relationship breaks down you have to learn to be happy without your girl. Then you have learn to be happy as a single guy. Then you can find happiness with a new girl.

Holding onto your ex just delays your emotions from working through that process. It's not healthy and it will make you miserable. You might think it's because you won't let true love die. But really you are just being weak and childish.

At the end of the day time is the best means to heal all wounds. You can speed the process along with a little bit of personal development work. I recommend the "End of a Relationship Pack" from as aid to getting over your ex.

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› You Need To Get Over Your Ex

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Brad Alexander

Brad Alexander is the author of Badass Young Men, where he shares his relationship wisdom. Learn more about Brad here. Subscribe to the newsletter or like on Facebook to keep in touch.