Sometimes it's easy to get over your ex girlfriend and move on after a break-up.
It's easy when you ditch the girl, wipe her from your life and carry on. Even when she ends it you may come to realize quite soon that it's a good thing she is out of your life.
But sometimes it can be difficult to get over your girlfriend. Almost every man has had the experience of being dumped and not being able to let go.
This attachment and inability to get over your ex can last for years and while it continues it affects every relationship that you enter.
It is important to understand why this happens and why you need to get over it. Because you need to be able to move on, man up and have happy, fulfilling relationships. Badass young men are not still pining after girls that left them long ago. You need to get over your ex.
This article focuses on the importance of getting over your ex and why young men stay attached. For more detailed information of the mechanics of how to get over your ex girlfriend and how to do it there is another article.
Your Ex Is Your Ex For A Reason
You can get over your ex when you accept both at a logical level and an emotional level that she is not right for you.
When you accept logically that she is wrong but you still have those subconscious emotional pangs then it becomes a lot harder.
The problem with the subconscious is that you can't just flick a switch and get over her.
You have to reprogram the subconscious thinking and that isn't always easy.
The key step though is to identify the difference between your logical and your emotional feelings. When you can't tell the difference you feel this sense of being torn in two directions,of not knowing which way to go. But when you break it up into logical and emotional you can understand that your emotions are tying you to her while your rational mind says to let go.
Once you acknowledge that the rational and logical decision is to let go and once you see this distinction clearly the subconscious will begin to change.
You can see this in every break up. The first few days and weeks are clouded with emotion but as time passes a logical viewpoint takes over. This feeling of attachment to your ex remains when emotion still reigns supreme over logic.
There is a reason why you and your ex are not together. Whatever it is it means that she cannot be right for you. Maybe you had grand dreams of the future where you had children and grew old together. Those dreams aren't shattered, it's just going to be with a different woman.
You need to accept this reason and ignore the emotional subconscious pangs you have towards her. These are confusing you and clouding your judgement.
Right Person Wrong Time
There are few things in life more annoying than meeting the right person at the wrong time. You know that if you only met her a few years later or a few years earlier things would work out. But for some reason the present just isn't doing it for the two of you.
For a relationship to work you need the right person at the right time. You can't hang on to someone and hope that the right time will come along. This is a certain recipe for an unhealthy attachment.
If she is the right woman but it's not the right time then let her go. You never know, she might come back to you. I have a mate who dated a girl at high school. They went their seperate ways and he had a daughter with another woman. Ten years later he randomly runs into her in Australia. Now they are married. Right person, wrong time. A decade down the track right person, right time.
But it wouldn't have happened if he had been pining for her for 10 years. So get over your ex and just see what happens.
True Love Or Unhealthy Attachment
A common reason that young men find it hard to get over women is because they mistake love and attachment. Attachment is created by the highs and lows of drama and fighting. It is characterized by insecurity, immaturity and jealousy but also high levels of passion. A kind of bi-polar relationship.
These attachment relationships do not demonstrate the characteristics of genuine love such as generosity, selflessness and gratitude.
It's so easy to get sucked in by these relationships and harder to get over them. The high levels of passion and drama make the relationship seem so important. But this is importance that revolves around negative emotions. I've made this mistake before.
You need to identify the fact that you have an emotional subconscious attachment. High drama is exciting and addictive. It makes you feel like you are living in a soap opera. But it's not the basis for a healthy relationship. Once you identify this and you can use your rational and logic to see that this attachment is a bad idea you can move forward and you can get over your ex.
A Man And His Ex Cannot Be Friends
Sometimes in a break up you never want to talk to that woman again. So it's easy. You get over your ex with minimal effort. But often when young men still have feelings for their ex they fall into the trap of "being friends."
Still being friends is a giant cliche that you need to avoid. Men and women can't be friends if they have been together. If you keep hanging around with your ex a tiny little flame will still survive. It might even be quite a big flame. To get over your ex you need to cut the cord.
If you want to move on, get over your ex and develop a new relationship you need to cut off all contact from your ex. Delete her phone number, don't talk to her online and definately don't hang out wth her in person.
You are badass and your life will go on just fine without her. You don't need her as a friend. All this "friends" business comes from men who are too weak to let go and still want to hold onto their woman after they have gone. Let her go and get over it.
Once you get over your ex you can now go out find that special woman who genuinely deserves your love.
At the end of the day time is the best means to heal all wounds. However you can speed the process along with things like the "End of a Relationship Pack" from HypnosisDownloads.com.
- How To Get Over Your Ex Girlfriend
- How To Take Responsibility For Your Life
- Should A Man Be In A Monogamous Relationship?
- Setting High Personal Standards In All Areas Of Life
- Overcoming Insecurity - How To Stop Being Paranoid About Your Woman
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Overcoming insecurity is crucially important if you have issues with fear and jealousy in relationships. Emotional insecurity is not something that a healthy man should have, especially insecurities in relationships. Being insecure is something that can be overcome. Do not succumb to fear. Constant paranoia over whether or not your woman is going to cheat on you is immature. You need to learn how to stop being paranoid and how to stop being insecure. But to do so you need to own the problem, stop making excuses and put the onus on yourself to sort it out.
You Need To Get Over Your Ex
Sometimes it's easy to get over your ex girlfriend and move on after a break-up. It's easy when you ditch the girl, wipe her from your life and carry on. Even when she ends it you may come to realize quite soon that it's a good thing she is out of your life. But sometimes it can be difficult to get over your girlfriend. Almost every man has had the experience of being dumped and not being able to let go. This attachment and inability to get over your ex can last for years and while it continues it affects every relationship that you enter.