Did you know that having space is more important in a relationship than having a good sex life?
You never want to smother your girlfriend so badly that she has to ask you to back off.
By preemptively giving your girlfriend space in the right amounts, you avoid becoming clingy, needy, controlling and over protective.
You will know that she wants space if she is getting irritated at your displays of affection, your constant texts and calls, and if she is rarely initiating anything with you.
If you are too pushy and she feels smothered she will back away. Many insecure men react to this by being more demanding, more forceful and more clingy.
This often happens very early on in a relationship when, if they really like a girl, men have a tendency to become too intense too soon.
A much better way to react is to ease off. Call her less, meet up less, let her enjoy parts of her life without you and stop thinking your entire life depends on her.
Give both of you the chance to breathe and evaluate the relationship without being in each other's pocket all the time.
It will make you a better person and a better partner. Otherwise if you push too hard and don't back off, you might see her disappear.
Why Giving Your Girlfriend Space Makes You Better
1. It Will Stop You Being Clingy
A girl will rarely settle into a steady relationship with you if you demonstrate clinginess from the very beginning. Chances are you played it cool at first, but as soon as things got serious and you started to really care about her, the neediness and clinginess kicked in.
This is because once you care you become afraid of being rejected. Instead of keeping a cool head the fearfulness takes over and you cling on for dear life.
You have convinced yourself that she is the one and you solemnly promise to never let her go.
The problem is she finds it suffocating and it drives her away.
The way to get over this is to wake up to the fact that if the relationship ended, after a short period of mourning, you could quite happily live without her, move on and find new love.
Take the pressure off by stopping the charade that she is the only woman in the world for you. She isn't and while she might be great, the reality is that there are plenty more fish in the sea.
By accepting that if she left you your heart wouldn't explode and would be capable of loving again, you make peace with that fact. Once you have made peace with it the need for suffocating clinginess will gradually disappear.
And without being clingy, you suddenly become a much more attractive proposition.
2. It Will Stop You Trying To Be Half A Person
Insecurity and clinginess come about because of the flawed mentality that you are half a person and need a significant other in order to "become complete."
Stop thinking that rubbish.
You are a whole and complete person and your happiness is your own responsibility. Being in a relationship is awesome, but your significant other is there to compliment you and make your already awesome life better. She isn't there to make you complete.
So if she leaves you, you won't suddenly become half a person again. If she leaves you, you will remain a whole person, fully capable of living and loving.
Again this takes the pressure off the relationship, subdues the neediness and allows you to give your girlfriend space.
It will make you a better partner because you won't depend on the relationship for your happiness. You will know that happiness is your responsibility and you will see the relationship as adding value to your life but not being "everything" to you.
3. You Will Develop Trust
Clingy and needy behavior comes from insecurity and self esteem issues. Controlling behavior and over protectiveness come from a lack of trust.
In a healthy relationship you each need space to have your own friends and do your own thing, without the other looking over your shoulder all the time.
You can't live your life in fear, so get over the irrational phobia that she is up to something or is going to cheat. Just because she wants to hang out with other people doesn't mean she is being unfaithful. Allow her to have male friends, trust that she will stay true to you.
At the end of the day there is no way you can actually monitor and regulate her behavior. So you might as well not wind yourself up in knots trying to. Give her space and just trust.
If you don't give your girlfriend adequate space you don't allow yourself to build trust slowly over time. By giving her space you become a better partner because you can go through that uncomfortable yet necessary process of learning to be vulnerable and learning to trust.
4. You Accept You Are Part Of Her Life, Not Her Whole Life
A relationship is one aspect of a person's life. It is not their whole life and it may not even be the most important part.
When you accept that you are merely just a part of her life and her merely a part of yours then it reduces the pressure.
You need other things to keep you happy, as does she.
Give yourself some space to develop and grow. Become your own person and you will be more comfortable with giving her space. If you refuse to develop other areas of your life and cling to her 24/7 you just end up being a parasite and dragging her down.
Giving your girlfriend space is not just a way of giving her what she needs. It is actually an exercise in personal development where you learn to develop more security, trust and self esteem. It helps you get what you need as well.
It will make you a better person, and a better person is a better partner.
If you need help giving your girlfriend more space, I recommend you try the self guided hypnosis program called "10 Steps To Overcoming Insecurity In Relationships."
It's a comprehensive step by step process to get rid of insecurity and in the process, make you a better partner and a better man.
Make sure early in the relationship that you give your girlfriend an appropriate amount of space. Don't be too full on or she may feel smothered and leave.
But remember this isn't just about giving her what she needs. Giving a girl space is actually better for you as well. It makes you a better person and a better partner, and makes you a more attractive long term relationship prospect.
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