How To Apologize To Your Girlfriend Without Being A Doormat

Learning how to apologize to your girlfriend in a way that acknowledges fault, puts the situation right but doesn't result in you becoming a groveling slave is an important skill in a relationship.

Some people argue that men should not apologize. I don't buy that argument.

We should apologize, but only infrequently and only when we actually have to. However when the time is right to apologize you have to do it properly and with sincerity.

Make Sure You Are Apologizing For The Right Reasons

The first step in knowing how to apologize to your girlfriend is knowing when to apologize. The obvious situation is when you have done something wrong that clearly needs an acknowledgement of fault and an apology.

The grey area is when your girlfriend expects an apology but you do not think it is necessary or justified. Here you have to walk a fine line and find the balance. Sometimes it is necessary to apologize when you are not at fault, but you cannot be kowtowing to your girlfriend's every whim all the time.

If your girlfriend is mad at you for something you have done, even when you feel it wasn't your fault try and take an objective approach. Could a person in her situation objectively feel that an apology is warranted. If so, then make sure you provide it.

If objectively it couldn't be warranted and your girlfriend is being a stuck up bitch, for want of a better term, then do not give in to her demands.

However make sure you are only apologizing for your behavior. Do not apologize for your character or your beliefs. Do not apologize for being yourself, for being a man or if your girlfriend is trying to pick you up for every minuscule shortcoming.

The only justified reasons for apology are your wrongful behavior or reasonably perceived wrongful behavior. Even if you are both in the wrong, and perhaps even her more so than you, if you are justifiably in the wrong even a little bit, then apologize.

Make It Short And To The Point

Don't give a long winded never ending groveling apology. Be short, concise and to the point.

Generally the famous words, "I'm sorry" will do the trick. The furthest extent you should go is, "I'm sorry for (insert reason here.)"

Sometimes it can be hard to spit those words out, but you have to do it. Just like ripping off a band aid, do it quickly and get it over with.

Make Sure You Mean It

Even if you don't think you were really in the wrong you still have to say it like you mean it. An insincere apology is worse than no apology at all.

While you may decide not to apologize, once you have made your mind up to do so, then do so properly. Don't do a half assed job.

Avoid at all costs saying "I'm sorry that you feel that way" as this will only inflame things because she will feel like you are copping out.

If you made her feel a certain way then the behavior itself is worthy of an apology, not her reaction to it.

Don't Make Excuses

When you make long winded apology there is a tendency to emerge with excuses. Stick to the short and sweet apology and keep the excuses out of it.

If it's unreasonable then don't apologize. If it is reasonable then take responsibility ini the apology by accepting fault and not blaming anyone or anything else.

This way you can get through it quickly and move on.

If you do all of the above then you will be apologizing like a man without becoming a doormat. Only for the right reasons, short and to the point and sincere without excuses. Make it quick, reasonably painless and then move on.

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