Learning how to end a relationship in a civil manner that leaves your partner under no illusions is a skill.
It is a skill that every man needs to know.
It is not an easy task and it is one that weak men shy away from doing properly.
A real man will do this in a courteous and respectful manner while showing compassion for the woman he is breaking it off with.
There are ways to end a relationship like a gentleman and there are ways to end a relationship like a jackass. Make sure you learn how to end a relationship like a gentleman.
The question of how to end a relationship should not be one when you are seeking the easy option. It should be one where you seek the right option. Display moral courage and do the right thing.
When you do the actual breaking up you should have no doubts that you are making the right decision.
Therefore you need to question yourself well in advance. There is no point asking how to end a relationship if you are not sure that this is what you actually want to do.
Consider whether you are just experiencing a bump in the road on the way to a lifetime of happiness or whether this is a signal that the relationship has no future.
No one can answer this for you, but you must interrogate yourself in regards to this question.
You will suffer from conflicting emotions when you are making the decision as to whether or not to break up. You will experience conflicting logical arguments. In the end you have to trust your strongest emotion and follow your intuition. Logic can always be found to back up either argument. So ignore logic and follow your gut. Whatever feels right is the right path to choose.
Once you have decided that you must end it then you need to gain some clarity over the reasons why. For one she will ask and you need to be able to deliver a brief yet clear response. But you too need this clarity for your own peace of mind. It will help you down the road if you ever question your decision. And it will also help you in picking up the lessons from this relationship and carrying them forward with you.
Ideally if you have been having problems you should have been discussing these things along the way. The break up should not be the first that a woman hears that things have not been going so well.
Whether this is the case or not once you have the decision in hand and the reasons clear you need to effect the break up reasonably quickly. It is not fair to drag it out. Your partner will sense something is wrong anyway. So it is best to get it over with.
How To End A Relationship With Respect
Tell your woman you need to sit down and have an important conversation. This will at least prepare her for something of gravity and not completely spring her by surprise.
Arrange A Time And Place
This needs to be a venue that is neutral ground for both of you and where either of you can walk away if need be. Each other's apartment is not a good place. Neither is a crowded public place like a cafe. The best place is somewhere public and out in the open but somewhere you won't be overheard and you won't cause a scene. A secluded area in a park or at the beach is ideal. It should not have an association to the relationship, i.e. it shouldn't be the place where you went on your first date or something like that.
Deliver The News
You need to man up and deliver the news. Don't wuss out and delay it. Always do it in person and never by text message, email or phone call. Tell them clearly and state your reasoning. Be brief but be to the point. She should not be left wondering what you mean.
Don't Leave A Glimmer Of Hope
One of the cruelest things you can do is leave a glimmer of hope that you will get back together. It may seem nicer that you let her down gently but in the long run this is not a good way to handle things. If you are ending it for good then you need to be blunt about it and make sure she understands.
Do not blame, do not use cliches and most of all be considerate. You used to be in a relationship with this woman, treat her with respect.
Listen To Her Reaction
She will have an emotional reaction and it is likely to be of a distressed nature. Listen to her. Do not block her off. Let the feelings come out and take it. Do not try and make her feel better. You are breaking up with her so of course it is going to hurt. The worst thing you can do is try and console her because this will send mixed messages.
It is strange not to console her, because in the relationship if she was hurting you would always be there for her. And since you don't like to see her hurting your compassion wants to help. But in this instance you have to let it be. You are the reason for her pain so you cannot strike the wound and then try to heal it immediately. You have to let her heal it away from you in her own time. It is hard to watch her suffer but it must be done.
Women often try and extend the break up conversation into an endless one. They want to talk about reasons and feelings ad infinitum. This is because they know as soon as you walk away you become their ex boyfriend. So to delay that they drag the conversation out. You cannot let this happen. Your duty is to state your wish, state your reasoning and then stand there and take the reaction. Beyond that if it is descending into an endless conversation then it is time to walk away. Don't engage in an argument and don't talk forever.
If you had a short relationship the one discussion may be all you need. However if you were in a very serious relationship over a long period of time the break up may extend to further conversations. Do not shy away from this. If she needs another conversation for closure once the initial shock has worn away then provide it. But again keep the conversation brief and to the point. And eventually you will need to put a lid on subsequent conversations if she is still trying to have them every second day two weeks later.
The main things to remember though are always be courteous and considerate, treat her with respect, be clear about what you want and why you want it and do not leave her hanging. This is how to end a relationship like a gentleman. If you can internalize that then you will be fine.
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