Dealing With Insecure Women

Insecure men attract insecure women and vice versa. Secure men attract secure women and vice versa. It is a truth of relationships that you tend to attract people that are similar to you.

They may be different in habits and outward appearances but at the core you are at a similar level. This is particularly true of insecurity. So as you grow more confident and abandon your own insecure past you may develop a problem in your relationship.

Your partner may not be experiencing the growth and personal development at the same rate as you. She may very well remain stuck in her insecure ways. And as you grow and mature she will grow ever more clingy and needy as a result of the fear that you might leave her.

This really gives you two choices and in time it should become clear which is the appropriate option. Either you raise her up with you, or you have to cut her loose so you can find a new love that matches the new reality that you live in.

Signs of an Insecure Woman

Passive Aggressive

Someone being passive aggressive is one of the most frustrating situations to be in. You never know when you are in trouble and you are continually walking on egg shells. It isn't a nice environment and you shouldn't have to put up with it.

Control Freak

When someone is insecure they feel the need to be in control. They feel that if they control everything the thing they fear cannot happen. Of course this is not true and the controlling behavior is actually more likely to bring about the very thing they fear. The less of a positive effect the controlling behavior has the more she will try to control.

Guilt Tripping

A classic maneuver by an insecure woman is to guilt trip you. Even if you have done nothing wrong she will find a way to make you feel guilty. You become a prisoner of her personality.


The leech is when she permanently attaches herself to you to the point where you have no free time and she accompanies you everywhere. This is closely related to the control freak behavior as it is a way to check up on you.

Solutions To Dealing With Insecure Women

The solution to this behavior really depends on your interpretation of a relationship. If you believe in "the one" and think you have found her, then you need to work on this problem with your full commitment. If you feel that our relationships are a reflection of who we are and that as we change and grow relationships may wither to make way for new ones then your solution may be to abandon it.

If you plan on sticking around here are the key things you need to do.


If you feel your partner is being insecure and displaying any of the traits above you need to sit her down and talk about it. It is easy just to try and go with the flow and hope that things will change but all you will do is reinforce the habit.

You need to air it out and bring it to light. She will react defensively and potentially will lash out in a hurtful manner but in the long run it is the best option. You have to talk about it because it is the only way to move forward constructively together.

Establish Honesty

Along with communication comes the need for honesty. Particularly honest communication. If something is upsetting either of you it is not good enough to say that it doesn't matter. If it does matter speak up and let her know.

Reduce the control freak behavior by volunteering information about what you are doing and where you are going. The temptation when faced with an insecure woman is to withdraw further and hold back information. But be proactive and honest and she will thank you for it.

Stand Up For Yourself

The key thing in all of this is not to indulge her and stand up for yourself. You are a confident secure man and you deserve to be treated with respect. If you cave to her insecure nature it will only give her fuel to continue this behavior. Draw a line and demand she respect you.

I don't mean do this in a nasty way. You need to be respectful and compassionate when you talk to her. But you must stand up for yourself and she needs to understand that there is work to be done on her part.

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