Long Distance Relationship Advice

The best long distance relationship advice is to continue to grow the relationship.

This is they key that underlines all other suggestions.

If you are seeking to merely maintain the relationship then it will eventually stagnate and die.

You must keep things fresh and interesting by moving forward as a couple just like you would if you were living in the same town.

It is harder to do this, but as long as you keep this mindset then you will make some progress.

The other key piece of long distance relationship advice is to make sure you only engage in the relationship if you both can really see a future for it. You need to ask yourself this big question.

Is this relationship worth going to the trouble of having a long distance situation? Can you see yourself with her in the long term many years from now?

Long distance is a big sacrifice and one you should only make if the benefits will be there in the long run.

A simple way of framing the question is not "do you want to be with her?" It is rather "is it possible to live without her?"

Create An End Goal

When you are working towards any goal proper motivation comes if it is specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timely.

Dealing with a long term relationship is much easier when you know that you will be permanently reunited in X city in Y months time.

If the duration of the long distance period is vague and not bound in anyway it will suddenly become a lot harder to deal with. Whatever he reason for your sepearation is, there should be an answer within that.

Normally the separation is for career. Is it a one year post where your partner will then return. Or has she moved permanently? Have you agreed that you will follow her by a specific date?

Indefinite waiting will drive you insane. Talk about the end goal. Talk about the ground rules. But be flexible as things can always change.

Communicate But Keep It Limited

There is nothing more lame than having the same two hour "what did you do today?" conversation. Too frequent communication actually makes things harder and can prevent both of you from actually living fulfilling lives, because your Skype date or phone call takes over your life.

Having said that you do need to keep in touch. Hand written letters or email are great because replies can happen when it is convenient for the other person, you don't have the pain of trying to schedule being both available at the same time.

Naturally the odd Skype chat or phone call is going to be necessary. Just don't try and do it everyday. You need to find a happy balance that works for both of you. The level of communication will be different for each couple so experiment and let each other know what you are comfortable with.

Schedule Visits But Keep Them Limited

How often you visit each other depends on how far apart you are. Keep them regular but don't overdo it to the point where you are sacrificing silly amounts of time and money just to see the other on a too frequent basis.

You need to maintain a balanced social life and if you neglect friends just to spend every weekend travelling this will burn you out.

It is also important to alternate who does the travelling. This doesn't have to be 50/50. You may have significant difference in incomes and the person who moved away should be obliged to travel more. But do not have one person doing all the travelling. Share it around.

Increase Trust, Overcome Insecurity

If you struggle to trust and struggle to deal with insecurity this is only going to be amplified by a long distance relationship. On the positive note this inflammation can force you into dealing with your problem once and for all. This is an excellent opportunity to actually grow the relationship by developing greater trust in each other.

The fact that a woman will enter into a long distance relationship means she is committed. That is a sign right there that you can trust her. Even if she strays the guilt will likely crush her so badly that she confesses.

So don't sweat it. Allow yourself to feel the fear but don't let it consume you. Have the faith that your mutual decision to go long distance means that fidelity will be maintained.

Also bear in mind that you will not be the only one who is insecure. She may fear what you may do without her presence. So you will have to work through this as well and ensure you act and communicate in a trustworthy manner.

Continue To Live Your Life

The worst thing you can do is to flounder in other areas of your life. Keep your friendships up, keeping moving forward in business or career.

If your woman was attracted to you in the first place because you were a dynamic and interesting person then keep it up. Not just for her sake but for your sake as well. Don't go into your shell.

You also need to encourage her to continue to live her life and striving forward with goals and achievements of her own, if you think that she may be wallowing a little with the loneliness.

Continuing to live an independent life is not just long distance relationship adivce. It is relationship advice in general. Even when you are living close it is important in a relationship to maintain a degree of independence and individuality. Long distance gives you more of a chance to do that so make sure you keep your own life moving forward.

If nothing else just remember the cornerstone piece of my long distance relationship advice - do not merely maintain the relationship, continue to grow it.