Whether a man should be in a monogamous relationship or a polyamorous one is a question that will cross the mind of many young males at some stage of their life.
To sleep around or to settle down? Monogamy is the committment to one partner. Polyamory is having multiple partners.
And then there is general promiscuity and sleeping around. You will hear from one side that the most manly thing to do is sleep with many women and spread your seed. Another side will tell you that the manly thing to do is commit to one women and be monogamous.
Are men meant to be in a monogamous relationship? While many men are on the hunt for the women of their dreams others are keen to do a bit of sampling while they are young. It can be confusing to try and listen to what your heart and mind want when you are also being influenced by family and societal expectations.
Our culture has a tendency to seek the "one right way to do things." Whether it is a question of politics, how to raise children or what type of relationship we should be in the outside world tells us there is one way. We just have to figure out what it is. This is a very religious concept but it is by no means limited just to religion.
I am a firm believer that there is no one right way for people to live their lives. Therefore it is not a question of whether all men should be in a monogamous relationship or a polyamorous relationship. It is a question of whether you should be monogamous or polyamorous.
Biology Versus Society
Some animals choose a monogamous relationship and have one mate for life.
They are however in the minority. Most of them will have multiple partners in their lives.
There are many different ways this can happen. For example some may have a life partner whom they raise their young with yet have flings on the side.
Others may take a different partner every mating season.
In the animal kingdom anything is possible. In human societies throughout history we see the same trend. Many different cultures and societies have had different ways of structuring relationships including all sorts of mixes of polyamorous or monogamous relationships.
There is no one right way to have a relationship.
Promiscuity In The Modern Day
My personal opinion is that human beings are geared towards the pursuit of a life partner. We may find that partner young and stay with them until we are very old. We may have three life partners lasting twenty years each because as we grow and change we realize that person is no longer the one for us. But ultimately I think that men seek the companionship of a life partner, whether or not it ends up that way.
For most of human history people have started sexual relationships once they were sexually mature. Men would have been married at quite a young age by comparison to today.
While the desire for a man to spread his seed has always been there at the very least he would have been having his sexual needs satisfied by his wife from sexual maturity.
Today we get paired up a lot older because of economic reasons. Therefore we can have long periods as single men while we are young. We must have our biological sexual needs satisfied but perhaps we cannot enter a long term relationship because of social or economic reasons.
I believe this encourages modern day promiscuity. Flings, short term relationships and sleeping around become the norm because we chase our sexual satisfaction while being unable to find that life partner. Not that there is anything wrong with that. It is the right of the individual to do what he pleases and that includes sleeping with many women.
I pass no judgement nor suggest any course of action. I merely want to make you think about how modern day living may affect what you would otherwise have done if you lived in another era.
Is it nature or is it nurture? Does biology trump our social lives? I do not know and I don't want to tell you that there is a right way for a man to act in this case. There is no one right way. The right way is not for all men to spread their seed or for all men to settle down and commit. The right way is to do what makes sense to you in your head and your heart.
From pure observation of the world around me I would say most modern men go through several serious relationships intermixed with periods of promiscuity and casual relationships on the way to eventually finding that one woman for life. Because ultimately I think that is what most people seek. I do not know whether that driver is biological or social but it seems that most people want that. It doesn't mean you have to though.
A man is independent and makes up his own mind about what he wants. Society should accept that.
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