You know the stereotype of the crazy wild eyed jealous girlfriend. But why do otherwise nice normal girls become crazy in a relationship?
Things start off fine and she appears to be perfectly stable. But then one day a switch is flicked and she exhibits all the behaviors of the stereotypical crazy girl.
If you've just realized that you're dating a crazy girl, she may have been a crazy narcissist all along and the normality you saw at the start was a front.
However it's more likely that she was a normal girl and falling in love made the suppressed crazy side we all have come out. We all have a little bit of crazy inside us.
Sometimes women who have it all together in every other facet of their life can lose their bearings when they find love.
Why Normal Girls Become Crazy In A Relationship
1. She's Trying Too Hard
At first she was probably very aloof. Perhaps she made you work hard for her. She seemed cool and confident because she was. She didn't know if she really liked you yet so it was easy to play it cool.
But once she decided she was really into you the calm exterior disappeared. She knew what she wanted and she set out to get it. The power play shifted from you trying to seduce her into dating, to her trying to seduce you into a serious relationship.
At that point you hold all the cards, she ends up trying way too hard and comes across as crazy.
2. She's Insecure
Everyone has insecurities to some degree and we all try to hide them. Only a genuine crazy girl will let them all loose on the first couple of dates. Most normal girls will keep them well hidden until a decent amount of time has passed.
Once she feels more comfortable with you she is going to start to open up. You may realize that the well put together appearance is masking some serious self esteem and insecurity issues.
3. Too Much Stability Freaks Her Out
Some girls crave a relationship. They love the idea of someone always being there on a Friday night.
But they are more in love with the idea than the reality. Suddenly it hits that she has lost her freedom, is no longer going out and is dressing like a soccer mom before the age of 25.
At this point she freaks out and goes a little crazy. Even if you are what she wants, the fact that she feels like she is growing up too fast will make her uncomfortable.
4. She Loves Playing The Victim
There are two types of people in the world. Those that take responsibility for their lives and those that don't. For the latter they see everything that is wrong in their life as the fault of circumstance or someone else.
If you are dating a girl with a victim mentality then if there are relationship problems it will never be her fault. Since there is only one other person to blame - you - she is going to come across as irrational and crazy.
5. Her Relationship Problems Repeat
She may encounter the same relationship issues with you that she has encountered in previous relationships. When this happens it isn't bad luck or circumstances, she is the problem.
She either realizes this an addresses the issue, or the same problem plays itself out over and over again. This is going to cause her immense frustration and make her a little crazy.
And because you probably don't know what has gone on in her past you will have no idea why this is happening.
6. She Fears You Are Losing Interest
Before a girl has fallen for you she can handle it if you lose interest. It won't be flattering but it won't hurt that much and she will move on easily.
But once she has fallen for you, even if you don't know it yet, she will be terrified of you losing interest. She will come on too strong and possibly crazy.
7. She Is An Intense Person Who Gives 120%
I think living life to the full is an admirable thing to strive for. However some people live life at such an intense level that too much of it becomes draining.
You might think she's crazy but she thinks that she's normal and you are too laid back. It's all a matter of perspective so who's to say who is right?
Someone who lives everything at a high intensity will have very high highs and very low lows.
A girl like this can be a lot of fun but also a lot of hard work.
But I'll take this intense type of crazy over the jealous crazy any day.
8. She Is Worried About Her Past
If you both are in the same circles or have mutual friends this could be something that puts her on edge and makes her a little crazy.
She really likes you but has some skeletons in the closet. She is afraid that people will talk and you will find out. This results in controlling behavior with her trying to make sure you avoid certain people who might spill the beans.
9. She Needs Validation And Isn't Getting It
Some people need words of affirmation as their primary was of receiving love. It is one of the five love languages identified by Gary Chapman.
If she isn't getting this affirmation and validation from you she is going to start getting bit needy. It might come off as a bit crazy but this one is easily solved. Just give her the validation that she needs.
Demanding outrageous levels of constant affirmation is needy. But desiring a little bit on a regular basis is perfectly legitimate.
10. She Has A Juvenile Impression Of Love
Love isn't the like Disney movie stereotype. She may be looking for her perfect Prince Charming but unfortunately she will never find him.
Love is about two flawed imperfect people finding a way to make it work. It's not about moving from person to person in the hope that you will find the perfect match.
She might be going a bit crazy because her Disney movie bubble is bursting and reality is hitting her. It is a tragic time when this happens.
11. She Lacks Control In Life And Is Constantly Surprised
Girls Chase makes an excellent point on why some women seem crazy.
The argument is that a stable person has a reasonable plan for the future and can plan for events. When good or bad things happen they aren't that surprised because most things could be reasonably anticipated.
A crazy person has a much more limited view of the future. They are so present focused that everything that happens to them, whether good or bad, is a huge surprise.
It's a very childlike state to be in and the level of energy and enthusiasm can be endearing. But it can be very frustrating if you are the more stable one in the relationship.
If you are with a woman like this then a relationship is going to increase the potential for surprises. She has to react and engage with the variability that you bring. This added level of uncertainty in her life can make her crazy.
12. She's Impatient
Some girls have a timetable for their love life. They want to be dating someone by a certain time, married by a certain time and have kids by a certain time.
On one hand this is fair enough as they have the biological clock ticking that we don't have to worry about to the same degree. On the other hand this kind of timetabling is over the top, too intense and too much pressure.
But if she has decided she wants to take things to the next level with you and she is getting impatient, then she is going to get a bit crazy.
If you a dating a crazy girl she may be an overall crazy person who has brought her traits into the relationship.
Alternatively she is a perfectly normal girl but her inner crazy has come to the surface because of the relationship.
Some crazy traits are serious red flags, others are more forgivable. You have to decide for yourself.
Just remember, we are all a little bit crazy.
- Signs Of Insecurity In A Woman
- Dealing With Insecure Women
- How To Deal With A Jealous Girlfriend
- How To Handle Your Girlfriend's Emotional Baggage
- How To Deal With A Suddenly Clingy Girlfriend