Nine Qualities To Look For In A Woman

The qualities you look for in a woman are really the qualities you should be looking for in yourself.

The funny thing about the world is that we tend to attract into relationships people who are operating on the same emotional level as us.

If you have low self esteem and are insecure you will likely attract a partner on the same wavelength. Likewise if you are emotionally healthy, independent and confident you will find someone of a similar ilk.

The quest for the the right woman is more about the quest to become a better man. When you sort yourself out the right woman will appear.

Here are some key traits you should look for in a woman, but make sure you apply them to yourself as well.

She Has Confidence

An attractive woman is sure of herself. She is not arrogant but she respects herself, believes in herself and will stand up for herself and her beliefs.

She Is Intelligent

She doesn't need to have a PhD but she needs to match you closely when it comes to intellect. You will have a lot of conversations over the years and you need a conversational sparring partner that is somewhere around your equal.

She Is Honest

This is one of the cornerstones of a functioning relationship. Not only does she need to be honest to you but she also needs to be honest to herself. When you have the rose tinted glasses on in the early part of the relationship this is something that is often missed, but it is something you should pay close attention to.

She Has Independence

A clingy, needy partner is a turn off. Independence is crucial, not just because it is the opposite of neediness, but because it is awesome in its own right. A relationship is the meeting of two people, but both you and her need to be complete whole and independent individuals before you can even think about giving to each other in a fulfilling relationship. She needs to have her own friends, her own hobbies, her own activities and her own space.

She Can Show Self Sacrifice

It is very easy to tell when someone is selfish and when someone is giving. It does not have to be money. You can observe how much somebody gives of themselves in terms of time, energy and kindness. A woman who will make sacrifices of herself for the good of others is truly a wonderful person.

She Is Uncritical

A little bit of self reflection and self critique in order to develop and grow is a healthy thing. But too much criticism should send you running. This may be criticism of herself, of others or of you. An emotionally stable woman will have positive self talk and predominantly good things to say about others.

She Is Compatible With Family And Friends

On one hand it doesn't matter what you family and friends think of your partner. On the other if they do no see eye to eye maybe there is something that you are not seeing. A long term relationship means there will be a lot of interaction between your partner and others close to you. While your decision to proceed with the relationship does not hinge on other people's perceptions be mindful of what they think and reflect on it.

If your partner fits in with your family and friends and it feels like she belongs then this is an excellent sign that things are going to go well.

She Is Passionate And Has A Purpose In Life

Having strong passionate beliefs and a direction and purpose in life are valuable traits in a partner. This means she won't depend on you solely for her wellbeing but will have other areas of life that will bring her satisfaction and fulfillment.

You have to walk the journey through life together and while your lives are intertwined you cannot be glued together. She still has to blaze her own path, as you have to blaze yours.

She Can See Her Own Flaws And Is Accountable For Them

This is an idea Mark Manson has written about in his article "The One Trait To Look For In A Partner."

I agree with him that this is the number one thing you need to have a relationship above all else.

A relationship is an area of mutual self growth and you and your significant other can at times act as a mirror. She will be confronted with aspects of her personality and behavior that need may need to be changed and adjusted, as will you.

You need to be able to talk to each other about your shortcomings. While it may hurt a little she needs to be able to engage in this constructive dialogue without flying off the handle, storming out or guilt tripping you.

If you find a woman who can do this and who you are happy to engage with on this level then think very seriously about her. It is after all the most important quality in a woman.

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