Relationship addiction can be quite common and it is something that affects both men and women.
Having a woman addicted to you might sound awesome but it quickly grows tiresome and irritating. Likewise becoming addicted to a relationship that isn't healthy is a quick road to emotional destruction.
Addictive relationships are characterized by neediness and a loss of self identity.
The relationship absorbs all your energy and you feel like you cannot exist without it. There are plenty of needy women out there who are emotionally scarred and crave an unhealthy amount of validation.
The stereotype of the crazy girl with daddy issues has some basis in fact. When you find yourself in this situation the only way to avoid it is to acknowledge that you are in a relationship where one person has an addiction. From there you can either bring it up and hope to resolve it while staying together or just break up.
That is the easier scenario. When a women is addicted to you all you have to do is realize it. The harder scenario is when you are addicted to a woman. Like any addict it is very hard to admit you have a problem and then even harder to get over it. This is the situation I will talk about in this article.
How To Identify Relationship Addiction
Relationship addicts exhibit certain types of behavior and certain types of thought pattern. If you can see some of these in yourself then it is a sign that you may be in an addictive relationship.
You Try And Earn Affection
Instead of allowing someone to love you as you are you feel like you have to earn it from them.
You Try And Fix Your Partner
Instead of loving your partner as she is you feel like you have to control and fix her.
You Try And Keep The Relationship Alive At All Costs
Whether the relationship is happy and healthy becomes of secondary importance to the fact that the relationship is still going. You fear the fact that it might end.
You Always Put Her Needs Above Your Own
Instead of an equal exchange your emotional needs always take a backseat to hers. Not at her insistence but at yours.
You Feel Inadequate For Her
By feeling that you are not good enough you fear the fact that she might leave you. Therefore you are never content and are always trying to prove yourself to her.
How To Avoid Relationship Addiction
The best cure is prevention in this case. Become a happy and well rounded person who is comfortable in their own skin before you even enter a relationship. If you are in a good place you will attract a woman who shares those characteristics with you. If the relationship is built on mutual support from the start rather than the need to be each other's emotional vampire then you will be much happier and the chances of developing addiction will be slim.
If you find yourself trying to reform yourself from within an addictive relationship it is a lot harder but still manageable. The key is to start looking out for yourself. A relationship is not about losing your own identity and becoming totally absorbed as a couple, it is about nurturing each other and growing together.
Focussing on your own needs does not degrade the quality of the relationship. A dish is only as good as the ingredients, a house is only as good as the materials that make it and in the same vein a relationship is only as good as the individuals within it.
If you lose yourself in the process of becoming a twosome then the relationship will suffer. Do not think it bad of yourself to focus on you, your needs and your happiness.
As well as paying more attention to your own needs you need to stop controlling or trying to fix your partner. Allow her the space to grow and develop herself. Lose the fear and insecurity that she might leave you. It is not an enjoyable way to live.
- Jealousy And Insecurity - What's The Difference?
- Overcoming Jealousy - How To Banish The Green Eyed Monster
- The Causes Of Jealousy
- Why Men Display Insecurity In Relationships
- Overcoming Insecurity - How To Stop Being Paranoid About Your Woman