Ignore these relationship warning signs at your peril.
Of course you want things to work out but sometimes emotions can cloud your judgment.
If you are noticing any of them then it means you either need to take action to improve the relationship before it's too late or that things are just not working out and perhaps it is time for things to end.
Of course relationships are always going to have their ups and downs. But if things are consistently negative over a long period of time then you naturally have to question things and make some changes.
You Feel Frustration And Irritability
This might just be the rose tinted glasses coming off and realizing that you loved one has flaws. Alternatively it is a deep lack of satisfaction with the relationship that is causing you frustration.
This then tends to manifest itself in irritable behavior towards your partner.
You need to ask yourself why you are feeling frustrated and whether it is something that can be fixed.
There Is Fear And A Lack Of Trust
You cannot control and manage each other's lives. It is impractical as well as causing a loss of freedom for both the controller and the person being controlled.
Controlling behavior stems from fear and a lack of trust. Is she fearful of what might happen if the relationship ends? Does she not trust you to be faithful? Is she paranoid or insecure about something to do with the relationship?
These issues can be worked through but it may be that you decide the relationship is not worth it.
One Of You Wants To Change The Other
Naturally as time passes each individual will grow and change. But this happens according to their own timeline.
In a relationship you will also grow together and conflicts will give you a chance to work out how to better operate as a couple.
But if one of you wants to fundamentally change a significant aspect of the other's character then don't kid yourself that it is possible. All it will do is drive a wedge between you. This is one of the most critical of the relationship warning signs and will require a very sober reflection on the future of the relationship.
You Cannot Openly Discuss Your Problems
The best trait you should look for in a women for a successful long term relationship is the ability to be open to discussing her flaws and the problems in the relationship.
If you both have this ability then conflict resolution becomes quite simple.
If you cannot openly discuss either your own shortcomings or difficulties in the relationship then this is something to watch out for. Inevitably conflict will arise and if you cannot successfully communicate and resolve it it will grate away at you until the relationship becomes unbearable.
If you can't be frank then look out.
Incompatible Life Goals
I believe there are three keys to a successful relationship. The first is chemistry. It will fade but it needs to be present to a certain degree for things to even get off the ground.
The second is compatible personalities. You need to enjoy each other's company and get along.
The third is shared life goals. These will never perfectly align and there will always be some compromise, but they must be broadly compatible. How long is one of you going to be prepared to sacrifice your own goals for the others? The unfortunate reality is not very long.
Chemistry will fade and personality compatibility can only take you so far. You need to have at least some alignment on life goals if you want this thing to be long term.
Either Of You Cannot Handle The Other's Family And Friends
Her friends and family have helped shape who she is, just as yours have for you. You cannot ask her to abandon them and neither should she ask that of you.
You have to live with your girlfriend's family and friends and she has to live with yours.
If this is a problem for either of you then perhaps this relationship is not meant to be.
In-laws from hell are a regular fixture in the movies but do you really want to live your life like that? It sounds romantic to love someone despite their family but can you really put up with conflict for the rest of your life?
Human beings actually are very similar to the people that we spend the most time with. If either of you can't handle the other's loved ones then you probably are not seeing the true person and might be blinded by the passionate emotions that are present early in a relationship.
You don't have to see eye to eye on everything, but there needs to be some compatibility here. And with your partner's parents - can you see them as being the grandparents of your children?
You Cannot Flourish And Feel Smothered
A relationship should help make you the best person that you can be. it should add to your quality of life.
You will naturally grow and change throughout your life and a good relationship will provide support for you to flourish and grow.
If it does not then it will smother you. You will develop resentment for your significant other because she constricts your naturally tendency to grow. If she puts out your fire then you really have to think about whether this has a future.
- Nine Qualities To Look For In A Woman
- The Keys To A Successful Relationship
- How To Deal With A Jealous Girlfriend
- Your Girlfriend's Friends - You Have To Get Along With Them
- How To Talk To Your Girlfriend's Friends