There are not many things less badass than a man who makes excuses. Stop making excuses for yourself and your shortcomings.
Instead take responsibility for them. Work on them and turn them around. People who succeed in life do not complain.
Things didn't just fall in their lap because they were lucky. They had a goal, worked hard and made it happen. They didn't blame their circumstances.
Think of the manliest man you know. Have you ever heard him complain and make excuses? No, he takes it on the chin and rolls with the punches. That's manly behavior. If he isn't making excuses then you should stop making excuses as well.
I know a wimp of a man who is 350lb. Does he do anything about his weight? No. he just complains that because his parents are fat he is destined to be fat and therefore there is nothing he can do about it.
He genuinely believes this, having convinced himself of this lie and excuse that he is genetically doomed to be fat. He could turn around his weight situation but he needs to stop making excuses and take charge of his life. He has to stop blaming everyone else, quit making excuses for his behavior and do something himself.
Sure he has a big build and is never going to be thin as a rake, his healthy weight will still be rather large. But there is no excuse for him to be that obese.
Why People Make Excuses
Excuses are an avoidance tactic. Something we conjure up to explain away our limitations. It could be the reason you can't get the job you want, why you can't make the sports team you want or why you don't have the courage to ask out the woman you want.
Instead of admitting we are inferior and taking steps to remedy our weaknesses we blame the outside world. "It's not our fault," we say, "It's our upbringing or the economy or the injured shoulder I had ten years ago."
Sure external circumstances might have put you at a disadvantage. But you have the choice of whether you succumb to them or rise above them.
Excuses make people delusional. They believe they would be able to do something "if only...." If only this that or the other happened. They want to talk about change rather than actually do it.
Overcoming Excuses Is All About Attitude
To stop making excuses you have to forget about the cards you have been dealt in life and make the most of what you do have. You can complain about a terrible hand or you do something about it. You are the only one who can improve yourself. No one else is going to do it for you.
So you have to take responsibility for change and stop waiting and making excuses.
Let's say you want to lose weight and build muscle. All you have to do is go to the g\ym every day for 10 weeks and progressively lift more. If you do that there is no doubt you will see gains. It's not that hard. But for many people they won't follow through with the goal. They will come up with some excuse, some reason why they can't see it through and they will stop working out.
It might be that work is getting busier, or their muscles are too sore or they are too tired or their gym program is ineffective. This is just resistance that your mind throws at you. Excuses that you offer yourself that you can choose to accept or ignore. You don't need a personal trainer and an amazing program to lose weight. You just have to show up every day and put in the effort. But that requires dedication and no excuses.
In the same way you don't need a perfect body to attract women. But you have to believe that to be the case. If you make that excuse for yourself then you will never succeed.
You have to find the force of will from within you to overcome these things and break through the resistance. It's all about attitude.
How To Stop Making Excuses
Whilst this is essentially an attitude adjustment that is required there are some actionable steps you can take to get the ball rolling and help you stop making excuses.
1. Look in the Mirror and Accept Responsibility
It's all about you. You are the only one who can turn things around or achieve the goals you set. Stop blaming and start doing.
2. Know Your Excuses So You Can Ignore Them
If you have recurring excuses it is a good thing to learn them. That way when they pop up you recognize them. Again gym plans are excellent example. I know countless people who start new exercise resolutions every year, even several times a year. But they are always starting these new resolutions and never finishing them. All they have to do is stick with one and they will succeed, but they always trip themselves up with an excuse. And often it is the same recurring excuse. So learn yours.
3. Overcome Rationalization
Don't use logic to try and explain why you should stop achieving your goal or give up on your resolution. Logic can be found to support any argument and can be used to support both sides. There is as much logic that says you should keep going as there is telling you to stop. But for some reason we always listen to the one telling us to stop. So don't rationalize and forget about logic. Just keep going.
4. Set Goals And Focus On The End Result
If you have a specific and measurable goal you are aiming for it is easier to keep focussed on when mental resistance starts coming your way. If you have a flimsy goal like "start a business" or "get fitter" it is easier to let it go. It's harder to let go of "earn $5000 per month by June this year" for example and it's easier to stop making excuses.
5. Get Over Yourself
I find that people who make excuses are afraid of what other people think of them. They think that everyone is out there scrutinizing them, taking note of their failures and laughing at them behind their back. So instead of putting themselves out there and possibly failing they never try at all and just make excuses.
Get over yourself. Nobody is watching you and nobody cares if you fail. So quit your excuse making. Everybody has got too much going on in their own head to give much thought to you. Everybody is the centre of their own universe so while every detail of your own life matters to you it doesn't rate highly on anybody else's.
Use that knowledge to allow yourself to take risks, allow yourself to fail and don't make excuses for it. You don't need to justify to someone else why you failed. All you need to do is pick yourself up and continue pursuing your goal. If you stop making excuses you can actually focus on what you want to achieve, not why you haven't been achieving it.
6. Start The Journey Towards Becoming A Secure And Confident Man
Making excuses is a childish way of passing the buck and avoiding responsibility. However this is no quick fix. It is a process and a journey in developing the mindset of a secure and confident man. It is something that you have to consciously work on over time. "The Confident Man" is a resource you can use to help you along this path.
- How To Take Responsiblity For Your Life
- A Success Mindset And Badass Attitude Affect All Areas Of Life
- Military Leadership Skills - Lessons In Manliness
- Life In The Military - 12 Badass Things I Learned
- The Benefits Of Physical Fitness For Personal Development
- Why Men Display Insecurity In Relationships
- Overcoming Jealousy - How To Banish The Green Eyed Monster
- Jealousy And Insecurity - What's The Difference?
- The Causes Of Jealousy
- You Need To Get Over Your Ex Girlfriend