Why You Need To Take Her Off The Pedestal

The ability to take her off the pedestal is the biggest difference between men who are successful with women and men who are not.

It doesn't matter if you are single and looking or in a committed relationship.

Treating attractive women like people and not like idols to be worshipped is critical to your success.

You still respect them and treat them with dignity, but you don't get hung up about them or let them hold power over you while you grovel at their feet.

All you do is treat attractive women the same way you treat everyone else.

Men who lack confidence with women will glorify them. Because they don't feel good about themselves, they create this idealised image of an amazing woman who is completely unobtainable.

They struggle attracting and maintaining healthy relationships with women because they convince themselves that they are unworthy. They deem themselves unworthy, because they have placed the object of their affection on a pedestal.

What these men don't realize is that attractive women are people too and harbor the same fears, doubts and insecurities as the rest of us mere mortals.

In order to relate well to women you just have to be able to relate well to people. You have to be engaging, interesting and offer value while being humble and kind.

Why You Need To Take Her Off The Pedestal

take her off the pedestal

Taking women off the pedestal is not so much a technique as it is a shift in attitude.

Being hung up on women means you do not value yourself. It shows that you are needy and insecure.

Your self worth revolves around whether a woman approves of you or not. This is a huge amount of power to give away.

In a healthy relationship you have boundaries and set standards. It's not all one way traffic, as you are evaluating her qualities as a mate just as much as she is evaluating you.

If you want to enter into a long term relationship that has a good dynamic then you need to be clear in your own mind about these boundaries right from the start. You need to know what you are looking for in a partner, where your red lines are and what behavior and attitudes you will and will not tolerate.

You can't just accept anything for the sake of "having a girlfriend." If you do then you will end up with an unhealthy dynamic as the relationship progresses as the power will be firmly held by her.

Instead you should aim for an equal relationship where you each aim to meet the other's needs and you each have the power to walk away if it's not working out.

This is the basis of mutual respect and teamwork and avoids a situation where she holds the keys and you are on your knees, beaten and defeated.

Taking women off the pedestal will give you more success, both in dating and in long term relationships. This fact is counterintuitive to needy men but it is the honest truth.

Beautiful women don't want to be treated any differently. They want to be treated like a regular human being and a man who does this is more likely to win her affection.

The more you get used to treating women like humans and not idealized princesses the more comfortable you will get being yourself around them. The more comfortable you are being yourself, the more likely you are to establish genuine romantic connections.

How To Take Her Off The Pedestal

Remember The Power Of Walking Away

Whether you are chatting a girl up in a nightclub or in a long term relationship, remember that you hold just as much power as she does.

If things aren't working out, you have the power to walk away.

This ensures that the relationship is equal and you don't give away all your leverage. This way you don't cling to a relationship because you are scared you won't find another.

Treat Her Like A Human Being

I'm not condoning that you treat women poorly or show any kind of disrespect. A gentleman knows how to treat a lady with respect.

You should admire her beauty and success, but don't act like a giddy teenager and go all weak at the knees over her.

Know that you are a man of value and assert yourself. Be decisive and confident.

Understand That Looks Will Fade

A woman's good looks are one of her trump cards in the sexual marketplace. But good looks are just that and nothing more. They will fade over time.

She has other traits that she wants you to know about. She also has insecurities, fears and emotional wounds from the past.

Underneath the good looks she is human, so don't be intimidated by beauty.

Embrace Rejection

Whether you approach and get rejected or it is a girlfriend who walks away from a relationship, you should embrace rejection even though it stings.

Your goal should be to find a compatible woman, not just any woman. Therefore it is important to embrace rejection as high quality feedback that a particular woman is not the right one.

Mark Manson calls this polarizing. 1 He reasons that by unashamedly being yourself a girl will quickly decide whether she is interested in you or not. Rejection enables you to quickly move on to more compatible women.

If you are scared of rejection then it puts you in a place where you are afraid to be completely yourself in case you say or do the wrong thing out of fear she won't like it. You worry more about whether she likes you than if you like her.

By taking women off the pedestal you flip that dynamic, as you care more about whether you like her than if she likes you. You then embrace being yourself, knowing that you might get rejected, but that you are okay with that.

If you are interested in learning about how to be more confident and accomplished around women I suggest you have a look at 10 Steps To Be Naturally Attractive To Women.


The whole idea of putting women on a pedestal is based on the subconscious idea that she is worthy and you are not.

By working on yourself, lifting your own value and realizing that pretty girls are people and not angels, you create a more equal paradigm.

This way you don't bow at the altar of beauty but rather you see relationships as a mutually beneficial give and take.

She has to offer something of value to you as well in order for you to entertain the idea of entering a serious relationship with her.

If you can change your outlook to see women as regular humans with regular vulnerabilities you find it much easier to relate to them, and your success will greatly improve.


  1. Manson, M. (2011). Models: Attract Women Through Honesty [U.S.]: CreateSpace.

Image credit: Pedro