What Women Look For In A Man

A lot of men focus very hard on trying to figure out what women look for in a man.

The assumption then is, that if you know what they want, you can then just provide it to them and voila, you have women on tap.

This line of thinking is seriously flawed.

You should instead strive to improve yourself as a man and the side effect is that you will find it easier with women. The great thing is, all the traits you should be improving in yourself for its own sake are exactly the sort of things that women want.

Real feminine women want a genuine masculine man. That's what you should be striving for.

When you are in a relationship, of course you have to figure out what your partner needs and provide that. This comes back to The Five Love Languages and ensuring that you are giving love in the way your partner needs to receive it.

But when you are dating and in the courtship phase, you should be yourself and see if you are compatible. You should be aggressively filtering.

Trying too hard to be who you think she wants you to be and focusing too much on what she wants is counter productive. You don't get to see if you are actually a good match and you spend more time being someone who you are not.

Rather than focusing on what women look for or what women want, instead work on yourself and you will suddenly find that you possess a lot of traits that are attractive to women.

I've listed 8 things below that women look for in a man. However each and every one of them is something that you should be working to cultivate in yourself anyway, regardless of the impact on your dating life.

8 Things Women Look For In A Man

what women want

1. Purpose and Drive

One of a man's key roles in a relationship is to be the main provider. Women cop a lot of flak for being gold diggers, and while they should never choose a man solely on the size of his bank account, they need to know he can take care of himself and care of her and the children.

The way you demonstrate this is by having purpose, drive and ambition. Women want a man who is going somewhere, not somebody who is going to be a bum and rely on them. You need to be financially secure or at least heading in that direction.

2. Confidence

A woman wants someone who isn't afraid to step up in life and someone who will take the lead in the relationship.

You don't have to be full of macho bravado but you don't want to be meek. A quiet confidence in yourself and quiet strength is very attractive.

3. Emotional Stability

Life and relationships are hard. There will be good days and bad days, days where you feel on top of the world and days where you feel like throwing in the towel.

Of the two sexes women are the more emotional and they need their man to be a source of strength and stability.

You need to be able to hold it together when things get tough, avoid insecurity and be the emotional rock of the relationship and ultimately the family.

If you are a man who changes his tune on an emotional whim, then you aren't going to demonstrate the emotional stability a woman looks for.

4. Strength

Men should be strong and they should be strong in a number of different areas. This includes being physically strong, emotionally strong and financially strong.

One of the problems of the modern attack on manhood is that we have devalued masculine strength. The feminists have labelled it "toxic masculinity." But through the ages men have always strived to be strong.

It doesn't mean you have to hit certain minimum targets, rather it is a state of mind. We are all born with certain abilities and limitations, but you should be doing your best to improve your life, build discipline and get stronger.

5. Make Her Feel Special

It's not the popular view in our culture today, but men are the leaders within a relationship. Women prefer to be submissive and have men lead.

As part of this, it is your job as a man to demonstrate love and affection for that special someone and make her feel on top of the world.

Knowing how to romance a woman is not for sissys and it is not old fashioned. It is a basic life skill that every man needs to learn.

6. Sexual Attraction

This is something that is on one hand out of your control. We can't always predict who we are going to be attracted to and vice versa. Love sometimes works in mysterious ways.

What you can control in the attraction department is not shooting yourself in the foot by being sloppy.

Make sure you are well dressed and well groomed and have good conversation skills. From there attraction will either happen or it won't.

7. Compatible Values and Goals

This is another one that is a little bit out of your control, but what you can do is start by ensuring that you actually do have some values and some life goals.

It's amazing how many young men are dating but they have no idea who they are or what they want in life.

How then are you supposed to find a compatible mate?

Figure out who you are and what you are about, so you can communicate this to women. You will find that being man who knows what he is about is a very attractive trait.

8. Virtue

This is something else that is out of favor in the modern world, but deep down every woman still looks for it. I don't mean virtue signalling, I mean having real virtue.

There are some women who look to the bad boys but a desirable and virtuous woman will want a virtuous man. Someone who they can trust with their heart and their life, someone who would be a good father and someone they could introduce to their parents. Someone who has moral courage and a desire to do the right thing.


Our feminist culture means that real men are dying out. Yet unsuprisingly women don't want the effeminate men that our society is creating, they want real men.

They want somebody with confidence, strength, stability, drive and virtue.

You should develop these traits in you for their own sake and treat it as a bonus that they will improve your abilities with women.

If you want more information on what women look for, check out my free e-course.