When a woman first meets a man one of the most important qualities she looks for is how he makes her feel.
She is looking for a romantic spark, but she is also looking for someone who is trustworthy and safe.
Whether it's a one night stand or a long term relationship she wants to know that you are upfront, reliable and will take care of her.
If you give her that feeling and there is an attraction, then she will be open to spending more time with you and developing a relationship.
Once you are in a relationship it's about being part of a team. When the butterfly feeling fades and you get down to the serious business of love, women want a reliable teammate.
She wants someone who will be a pillar of strength, stability and trustworthiness. In terms of evolutionary biology she needs to know that you will be there to protect her and her children. Her life and her genetic lineage depend on it.
She wants someone who will be there for her when she faces all the insecurities, challenges and obstacles of her own life. Someone who will be there for her through the shared challenges of a relationship - things like buying a house, having children, traveling and looking after family.
Listen to any elderly couple talk about their relationship and you will hear about how they supported each other through thick and thin as a team.
You need a woman to do that for you and she needs you to do it for her.
It's not an outdated chivalrous beta act of "taking care of her." It's about being a strong partner for her. Someone who has his own house in order and can be a pillar of strength for her to lean on.
In generations gone by being a provider was alpha because a woman couldn't make it on her own. Even in this age you can still be an alpha provider who is a pillar of strength.
Here are the key reasons why being strong, stable and trustworthy is important:
This is something that you can't fake. No amount of game will convince a woman that you are a strong and stable partner unless you bring that strength to the relationship.
If she decides that you don't have the strength that she requires she will end the relationship and tell you something like, "this was fun, but I don't see it moving forward." In short, it was good while it lasted but you aren't the man I want to have babies with and share a life with.
If she decides that you do have the strength that she requires then she will consider this relationship very seriously. The next test will be whether you have shared values and compatible life goals, or whether you will gradually pull each other in a different direction.
How To Be A Pillar Of Strength
So how do you do it?
There is no way to fake strength, so the only answer is that you have to get strong. Many men think that getting the girl means they can relax. No, you have to keep working on yourself and make sure you never let yourself go.
It is an ongoing, lifelong pursuit.
1. Become Emotionally Stable
When she looks to you as a support and a sounding board, you can't fall apart.
2. Become Financially Stable
You don't have to have mountains of cash to be financially stable. You just have to follow the simple rule of producing more than you consume.
Ambition and future earnings can be just as attractive to women as current earnings, which is why it is possible to do well with women at high school and college when your resources are scarce.
But you need to make sure that you aren't bleeding cash or even worse relying on your girl for support. Learn how to manage your money, make sure more is coming in than going out and you will be financially stable, regardless of the exact size of your actual capital or earnings.
3. Become Physically Strong
All men should be strong. It is harder for a physically weak man to exude strength in other areas of life.
Getting fit isn't about being shallow and vain. It is about building character, discipline, tenacity and achieving goals.
Importantly you will feel better physiologically as well as feeling better about your appearance.
This is crucially important in conveying strength to others as well as internalizing that feeling of strength yourself.
4. Learn To Show Leadership
Part of being strong is being willing to lead. A weak man is afraid to exercise leadership in fear of upsetting his girl.
A strong man is prepared to lead the relationship because he understands that any partnership needs direction.
This involves leading the way in small choices like where to go for dinner as well as more important things like where to buy a house.
A strong man isn't an autocrat but he isn't afraid to have his hand on the steering wheel.
Modern society nurtures weak men and emasculates strong men.
To maintain your masculinity in a relationship you are up against it so you need to be strong, both physically and mentally.
While our culture downplays the need for the strong traditional male role, this is in fact what most women are looking for in a mate.