Women don't want to hold your hand in a relationship and teach you how to act. This is true during dating, in the bedroom and it is true when it comes to emotional intimacy.
She wants you to know what you are doing.
Women want a man who is comfortable in his own skin, in his own mind and with his own emotions, but who also has the intelligence to be able to read her emotions and understand how she operates.
A relationship is a constant give and take and the two partners are in a never ending dance with their emotions. Sometimes giving, sometimes receiving, sometimes craving solitude, sometimes craving companionship.
A woman is looking for you to be able to take the lead, recognize what she wants and deliver it.
Sometimes this may be in the form alpha traits such as being the protector or the seducer.
Sometimes it may be in the form of beta traits like the comforter and the nurturer. She wants emotional security from a man who can meet her emotional needs.
It isn't as simple as being alpha or beta. You need to have both.
Even Roosh V admits that it isn't necessarily one way or the other.
So why is this so important for women?
Young men today struggle with developing into healthy emotional men. This requires good male role models, a lot of relationships experience (both romantic and non-romantic), and a willingness to engage in personal development.
Being in a relationship can itself be a great way to get in touch with your emotional self and learn about how you think and feel. Intimacy challenges you in a good way.
Emotional intelligence is something you will be developing all your life as you gain in wisdom and experience. There is no objective point where anyone can stop and say, "I've made it."
The main thing is to be aware of it, aware of your strengths, your limitations and aware of your potential to grow in this area.
How To Improve Your Emotional Intelligence With A Woman
1. Develop Your Friendship
Superstar relationship therapist John Gottman argues that a deep friendship is crucial for a happy and long lasting relationship. It is how you develop commitment, trust and emotional intimacy.
It is about continually getting to know each other and creating a better understanding of each other's inner world.
How do you improve your friendship? The key is to ask the right questions.
2. Accept Your Shortcomings
We all have flaws. They are just much easier to hide when you are single. In a relationship trying to get two flawed people to develop a shared life means you are inevitably going to run into conflict.
Rather than pretending you have no shortcomings, the key is whether you and your girlfriend can accept and work through each other's flaws.
That means being accountable for your flaws, which requires you to be vulnerable and emotionally open.
3. Learn To Manage Difficult Emotions
Experiencing negative emotions is a part of life. A key way to improve emotional intelligence is to learn to deal with difficult negative emotions more effectively.
This may be dealing with stress and pressure. It could be dealing with criticism from your partner. It could be the courage to be the one to bring up difficult emotions in conversation when necessary.
4. Deal With Problems That Are Patterns
If you keep running up against the same problems in life or the same problems in your relationships that is something to be aware of.
The issue isn't something "out there." The issue is with you.
Problems that are reoccuring are clues. When you look within yourself to find the cause of the problem and do the personal development work to solve it, it will go away.
Confronting these issues causes you to grow your emotional intelligence as you are forced to radically examine your thoughts, beliefs, values and upbringing, giving you a greater understanding of what makes you tick.
Women don't want you to be like their female friends. They still want to you to be a masculine alpha male.
But they don't want you to be emotionless or unable to engage in emotional intimacy.
Learning to be empathetic, learning to understand her world and learning to open yourself up emotionally are key aspects to being a desirable man in a relationship.