Boys cruise through life and accept whatever comes their way. If they are lucky their circumstances will deliver them something good, if they are unlucky then circumstances deliver a tough life.
A man knows that living like this is unacceptable. He knows that he has the power to shape his own life and can make things happen, rather than letting things happen to him.
A man has goals, he has a purpose and he takes action to make his intentions a reality. It doesn't matter what that purpose is. But he knows what he wants and he is master of his own destiny.
Living your life with purpose gives you meaning, and research has even shown that people who have a purpose in life live longer.
It is also incredibly attractive to women for several reasons:
The reason why you can get girls at high school and college with very little prospect of providing any material security at that stage is because of purpose and drive. You don't have much in the way of resources but if you have an exciting passion and are working towards a goal then you will be attractive.
In the same way those who unemployed, drifting or loafing around with no direction are not at all attractive to women. You might have a great personality and killer good looks, but without any ambition you will struggle to hold a woman's interest.
Do you have purpose and drive? Or are you currently floating through life waiting for things to happen to you?
Often men don't have a purpose because they have never taken the time to really sit down and think about it. They grow up living other people's dreams and never stop to think about what is important to them.
How To Develop Your Purpose
Some people believe that purpose is something that is created for you and you have to find. They believe it has been divinely written or encoded in their DNA.
Others believe that your purpose can be anything that you choose.
I think it's somewhere in the middle.
It's not about figuring out your divine purpose, rather it's about figuring out what is important to you and what gives you meaning.
It isn't necessarily one thing that can be summed up neatly in a tidy little statement. You will have a different purpose in your work, your relationships, your spirituality and your family.
Purpose isn't a cosmic riddle to be deciphered, but nor is it something you can randomly or arbitrarily select and choose. It is a combination of nature, nurture, life experience and choice.
Your purpose may change and you are free to adjust it as you see fit. In fact you are advised to think, review and update it regularly.
But what you should do now is go through a brainstorming exercise to try and get closer to developing purpose, direction and drive. It doesn't need to be perfect but it pays to make a start.
Take out a pen and paper or open a new document and set aside about 30 minutes for the exercise.
First, write down as many goals for your life that you can think of. These are all the things in life, big and small, that you want to do or achieve. Remember these are things that deep down you want, not what you think you should want.
Second, write down the values that are important to you. This isn't about things you want to do, but rather how you want to conduct yourself. How you do things is just as important as what you do.
2. Create A Vision For Your Life
Think about what you would do if time and money were no object and you could achieve anything your heart desired.
How would you spend your days? What would you do for work? Where would you live? What would your relationship be like?
3. Audit Your Current Life
Break your current life down into the various roles you play. Things like boyfriend, employee, son, friend etc.
Now consider where you currently are in each of these roles with where you want to be. Identify what is going well and identify the gaps.
4. Create Actionable Steps
Having purpose is not just about knowing where you want to go in life. Direction is important but you also need to have the drive to embark on the journey. Otherwise you stagnate and drift through life.
The key part to living a life with purpose is to actually take action and make progress towards your goals.
Using the gaps you identified in your life audit create some specific action steps that you can add to your routine in order to start moving closer to your goals.
Women love men who live a life with purpose and drive. Men who passionately pursue their dreams will captivate and maintain a woman's attention.
Men who drift without any direction don't provide the security that women crave nor the excitement that they need.
Developing a sense of purpose isn't something you should do just for your relationship. It is an important thing for you to do for yourself as a man.
However, as always there is significant overlap between the things you do for your manliness and how desirable you are as a relationship partner.